Yes, I love taking care of my baby, but truth be told, as a stay home mom without a babysitter, sometimes I need some time for myself, whether to eat something, go to the bathroom or write here on the blog.
Today she is 7 months old, and the good news for moms who haven’t gotten there yet is that from the fifth month onwards the baby starts to entertain herself.
Maya has 3 toys that I take turns with each other and give me 1 hour of focus until she gets tired of playing alone and calls me. Of course, I always stay around and keep an eye on her!
Non-toxic play mat
An interactive mat I use to stimulate tummy time (since she always hated tummy time the rug with big colorful designs helps a lot).
She practices her rolling moves and attempts to crawl. I also love that it allows the baby to learn the alphabet early and having fun.
That’s what works the most, as there are so many things hanging, she stays there for a long time, talking (in her own baby language) with the little animals over her head or trying to pull them out of place. This one from Amazon is so beautiful and affordable.
Baby Ball Pit:
We got this as a gift and it’s great too. We fill up with toys and cushions for protection and she’s distracted by the colors of the balls and snuggled in a fenced and fun spot. If you want to match the pool with the decor, you can find deluxe models on Amazon. I prefer the colorful ludic version, I think is more fun to her.
I don’t know in your social cycle, but among my millennial friends and even myself before I had a child, the opinion was almost unanimous: ¨I don’t want to bring another human being into this dangerous and chaotic world¨ or ¨the planet can’t take any more people¨.
Yes, we know that we are in the midst of a climate crisis and that the biggest cause of all this is the mass consumption. Polluted seas and oceans, animals going extinct, the air getting harder and harder to breathe, the temperature of the planet going to extremes. And whose fault is that? of the human being, of course. So, why put more people in the world?
My thought was: ¨there we go, a bunch more ultra-consumer humans to destroy the planet. Who is going to save our planet in the future? ¨.And it was exactly in this question that I had my answer: WHO will save?
If on one hand we have people destroying, on the other hand we need people to innovate and find solutions to save. Let’s be realistic here: imagine if all eco-conscious people decide not to have children. Who will save the planet and the future? Kardashians will continue to consume like there is no tomorrow and encourage their children and fans to do so, and so will Arab shakes, as will all other millionaires and billionaires who don’t give a shit about the future of the planet.
That being said, I see our children, the kids of Millenials who are followers of conscientious consumption, as hope, as saviors, as balance. The children of a millennial middle-class generation that was the fruit of the digital transition and grew up with so much information and so much education on how to make the world a better place.
I believe our children are an opportunity to transform the planet.
Educating our children with love and utmost respect for nature, compassion for others and creativity can make the world lighter, more fun and safer.
And I end my reflection with this sentence that filled me with hope (I recently read in a book, but I don’t remember the author).
¨We should think not of leaving a better planet for our children, but better children for our planet.¨
And with this one from the Indian poet Rabindranath Tagore
Let’s be honest: writing a body-positive postpartum post is very important, and it is important that we accept and love ourselves, regardless of everything, mostly for the values of self-love we want to leave for our children. But leaving hypocrisy aside, if we have the choice to return our body to what it was before pregnancy, we will make that choice!
I read a lot of posts saying that unless you are a celebrity or have a lot of money, your body won’t go back to what it was after motherhood, your stomach skin will be crepey, you will get stretch marks and your boobs will hang. Ok, as I said above, showing this reality is very important because, in many cases, it will happen, either by a triplet pregnancy or by a genetic issue. But the good news is: PREGNANCY WON’T NECESSARILY CHANGE YOUR BODY FOREVER! And you don’t have to be rich to get your body back.
Many women are relieved to read this kind of story because they see that they are not alone and understand that it is a magical transformation of the body and that the changes are a reminder that you have done the most beautiful and important job in the world: bringing a brand new life to this planet.
But to be honest, I didn’t like to read only negative stories about the postpartum body. I thought ¨I´m not rich, I can´t do treatments and surgeries, will it really not come back? Will I accept myself with the physical change?¨
The truth is that I decided to take some precautions on my own. I’m very prone to stretch marks (I have a lot on my but since I’m 15 yo), and despite being thin, I gain weight very easily, mainly in the abdominal region.
I decided that I would do my best not to feel out of my body after pregnancy. I am small, have low blood pressure, and if I gain a lot of weight I feel very unwell and tired. So here are the things I think helped my body get back to exactly what it was a few months after delivery (my mom says that my body is even more beautiful now!).
Take care of your body from the inside out
Some time ago I began to realize that eating well and worrying about the proper functioning of my body, muscles, and organs, I felt good, I felt willing to do stuff. Eating real food gave me the willingness to exercise, and consequently, this was all externally reflected in my body. With pregnancy is no different. I had a very balanced and healthy diet during pregnancy. Rice, beans, vegetables, and lots of fruits (including fruits I don’t like). I thought about my baby health, so I didn’t eat processed foods. Of course every once in a while I ate something very greasy, but otherwise, I prioritized the health of that new being I was forming inside of me. Result: 9 months of gestation I gained only the belly fat.
Almond oil for the boobs
At about 6 months I saw a slight white trace on the underside of my breast. I was very upset because my boobs were my favorite part of my body. Of course, I am grateful every day for having a healthy body, regardless of shape and scars, but once again leaving hypocrisy aside and embracing my feelings with sincerity, that little white mark upset me. After some research, I read that almond oil was great against stretch marks. So I bought one bottle and slept every day soaked in oil in my belly and breasts. That stretch did not increase and did not appear in the belly either
There are controversies regarding this. I had vaginal childbirth , some people say the body comes back faster after normal childbirth. Mine came back pretty quickly, but I don’t know if it had anything to do with it.
This should not be news to anyone, but breastfeeding makes you lose a lot of weight fast. I ate a lot after Maya was born, I felt an absurd and voracious hunger, and yet I was very thin as breastfeeding burns a lot of calories.
Balanced postpartum diet.
I think the most important tip, along with a balanced diet during pregnancy. I kept taking care of myself to stay strong and healthy to be able to take care of my daughter. Real food and almost no sugar or industrialized food.
Bra with good support
In pregnancy, my breasts grew but did not fall, but with breastfeeding, there was no way, after 15 days I began to feel much difference, I cried a lot because as mentioned above, I always loved the shape of my boobs. So I decided to sleep and wake up with bras or tops, to make a good boob sustenation. The good news is that it gets firm again; I am still breastfeeding but Maya is almost 8 months old and I feel my chest is fuller and firmer again. 🙂
Well, as I said and I will repeat, it worked for me, but I found it valid to share, because maybe it works for you, 🙂 With a healthy diet you will gain 7 to 12 kg during pregnancy, as recommended by doctors, and so it will be much easier to get your body back to what it was :).
You are a new mom, who just brought a brand new little person to this world and everyone around is crazy to visit your baby and bring gifts. This is great, of course…But what about remembering to bring gifts to a lonely and tired mom?
Yes, motherhood can be very lonely, and as much as I love when my friends bring gifts to Maya, I also feel a bit sad, because most of the times no one even worries about asking how am I feeling. They just say ¨oh, you look great¨ or ¨oh, you look tired¨.
So, to be honest, as a new mom, I would love to receive some of the gifts listed below. And the best of all: they are all for free!
A day off of motherhood
Who wouldn’t LOVE to get one day off from motherhood to have some ME time, maybe just chill reading a book alone, or a day at the mall, or just 8 hours straight to sleep.
A housecleaning offer
A dream come true, your best friend calls you and say:¨this week don’t worry about cooking or housecleaning, I will be at your service.¨
A personal organizer
Let your husband, your mother, your sister or your partner organize and plan the week for you. Doctor, eating and sleeping schedules and all the routine logistics. When you are exhausted someone could just come and say: ¨don’t worry, I already have everything planned and organized.¨
A lot of compliments
This one is easy. We tend to blame ourselves more often than when should. Anyone who compliments your way to being a mom is welcome.
If your husband or whoever person is close to you when you are a new mom suggests some cool program together (like a family picnic) and ask about how are you feeling, without judgments would also be great.
See, it is so easy to make a new mom happy and without spending a penny!
Nowadays natural birth is a dream for many moms-to-be. When I got pregnant, I thought I didn’t care about how my daughter would come into the world. For me, the important thing was that she was healthy, regardless of being a c-section or natural birth.
Around the third month of pregnancy, I started to look for more information, and I saw that natural birth was the best option for both of us. I realized that my physical recovery would be faster, that I would be the protagonist of my daughter’s birth, that our connection would be more intense, and that she would receive more beneficial bacteria and immunity.
I did a lot of homework about childbirth and postpartum, and many things that I have read about actually happened, but others surprised me. So I hope I can help you with my experience.
Ok, straight to the point: the worst pain I’ve ever had in my life. I thought the contractions or pushing the baby out were the worst part, but the anal pain during labor contractions wins. I remember myself screaming things like ¨OMG MYY ASSS MY ASSHO%¨&*, IT HURST SO MUCH, WHY BLOGGERS DONT WRITE ABOUT THAT NO ONE TOLD ME THAT#$ @ # $% ¨ MOTHERF @ # %% # R !!!!¨
So, now you know.
Lower back pain
The ass pain was the worst, but the back pain was also cruel. You just need to breathe and remember that it lasts only 1 minute and then you will have 3 painless minutes to breathe before it starts again.
I used to see those beautiful images of women relaxing in the water during a humanized and natural birth, I had the feeling that from the moment you were relaxed in a bathtub all the pain would go away. NOT FOR ME. I felt uncomfortable just to think about getting into a bathtub. I can’t explain why, but I wanted to stay crouched, and the best thing to do was sitting on those pilates big balls under a very hot shower.
Vomiting and chills 🤢
I threw up and had a lot of chills. But at the moment the doctor instructed me to breathe properly these horrible sensations went away.
Intravenous access is not always necessary
The nurses pierced me exactly 8 times to try to access my vein. They told me it was mandatory, in case something unexpected happened, but I was having very intense contractions and they couldn’t access the vein. My arms were already all black and blue when the doctor finally arrived and said to the butcher-nurses: “stop it, isn’t necessary”. And it really wasn’t necessary!
Everything was swollen after birth
I did not swell during pregnancy. After Maya was born the situation reversed. I had no idea I would swell so much after natural childbirth but I did. My feet got huge and heavy… also my face and my arms. These lasted for like 10 days and then I was feeling myself again.
You forget the pain
I remember my thoughts during labor: ¨Why I haven’t chosen a C-section?¨, ¨I never want to have a kid again.¨ ¨It is impossible to forget this pain.¨ ¨I think I’m traumatized¨. Bullshit. Today I do not remember the pain, I thank God for having the natural childbirth and the pain would not be a reason for me not to have another child.
A lot of groin pain
Yes, more pain. The last one, I promise. Besides back pain, vagina pain and but pain, I also coped with the groin pain. I haven’t exercised for a long time, and I was very sedentary during pregnancy. The results are that I had a big injury to my groin that hurt for about 3 months, especially on cold nights and when I sneezed. It took me about 40 days to squat because of body recovery.
I made it without any kind of pelvic exercise during pregnancy
Though they help! As I just mentioned, I did almost nothing to prepare my body, just walked twice a month. My labor work lasted 4 hours, it was pretty fast, but I think that pushing the baby out could have been less painful if I had prepared myself better.
I felt like I had competed for a marathon
Exhaustion. This is what I felt the week after giving birth. I knew it was going to hurt, but I didn’t know I was going to feel so exhausted. Every inch of my body hurt, every minute of sleep felt like an hour. The body goes beyond the limits that I thought were possible, beyond the limits of strength… a lot of strength, and focus…a lot of focus. The results of all the effort + sudden lack of sleep + totally new routine + milk production = tired af.
I thought I would never want to have sex again
Even pooping and peeing was painful. It took me five days to be able to poop again. My intimate areas were so sensitive that I was sure I wouldn’t be able to have sex ever again. Well, once again, I was wrong. After 40 days my body was almost recovered, and after 3 months I was feeling 100% who I was before pregnancy again.
Breastfeed is hard, but the lack of sleep was the worst.
It is common sense that the beginning of breastfeeding can be very tough for many women. It was no different with me, but I can’t complain either: it was less bad than I thought it would be. Still, It took Maya 3 days to get it the right way, so I lost a lot of sleep bumping throughout the dawn. My lack of sleep and tiredness were so intense that I thought I would literally die.
I wanted to bite and kill everyone around me during contractions
Have you ever watched Bridget Jones Baby? As she goes into labor she shouts at everyone and bites the baby’s father. Well, no exaggeration, I felt exactly the same. Pure wild instinct. I felt like a wild wolf in the woods. I think it was the most surreal thing I have ever experienced.
I can scream
I thought I wasn’t able to scream. Those very loud from the deep pf the throat screams. When I was pushing my baby out I discovered 50 new vocal cords and a super high vocal potency that I didn’t know I had in me.
Natural Birth is still the best option 💪🌛
The main reason? I felt TRULY POWERFUL.
So much pain, right? But they are worth it, I would go through it all again because I felt more powerful than Captain Marvel with Wonder Woman together. Discovering all the strength that I have in me by bringing my daughter into the world was life-changing. Besides all the pain, it was amazing to use all my instincts, my focus and all my potency in this intense and magical work. For me, the pain just meant my old and weak self dying to give place to a Super- Wonder- Marvelous – Brand – New – Woman.
disclosure: English is not my first language, so I apologize for any possible grammar mistakes. My intention with these posts is to be helpful and comprehensive on a global scale :). Feedbacks and corrections to help are ok and welcome :).